Jocul Calamarului, Netflix’s global phenomenon, premiered its third and final season nearly two weeks ago. You probably know this. Heck, you’ve probably watched all six episodes already (and maybe you feel this is how it should’ve ended). I admit I have dropped the ball on staying up to date on the streamer’s dystopian juggernaut. Some big twists, bloody kills and story reveals have already hit the internet. 

My excuse? Fatherhood. Yeah, I know that sounds like I’m using my daughter as a scapegoat here, but I can not watch Player 456/Gi-hun (Lee Jung-jae) and the gang partake in this death gauntlet while my 6-year-old is in the room. So, it was on the back burner for a bit there.

The last time I wrote about Squid Game in any real depth, the second season’s cliffhanger was still on every fan’s mind. Questions regarding what the new games would look like, who will survive, how the climactic confrontation between the Front Man (Lee Byung-hun) and Gi-hun will take place, and if the ones keeping Squid Game up and running will be brought to justice by Jun-ho (Wi Ha-joon) and his team were actively swirling.

One thing I wasn’t expecting, though, was the inclusion of a newborn baby into the mix. It was already established in season 2 that Player 222 was pregnant. But considering the show’s sharp writing and unrelenting story stakes, I figured series creator Hwang Dong-hyuk was keeping some formidable story choices up his sleeve for the final season. 

Boy, was I wrong.

Spoiler warning: Before I continue, please know there are major story spoilers featured below for season 3 of Squid Game. If you’re reading this and have yet to finish the episodes, turn back now. Or, you know, don’t. It’s your choice. You do you, boo.

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The first episode of season 3, Keys and Knives, doesn’t waste any time, throwing viewers back into the bloody insanity of the Squid Game world. Hide-and-seek is the first new game. Players in red vests have to find and murder the ones in blue within 30 minutes or be eliminated. The players in blue have to either hide or find the exit before the time is up. 

As you should expect, the game was filled with copious amounts of bloodshed, back-stabbing and drama. And amid all of it, as the game progressed in episode 2, The Starry Night, Player 222 goes into labor. 

Before I get into all of my issues with this story choice and what comes next, I need to give you some backstory about myself. 

Assuming you read everything above, you already know I am a dad. In the year leading up to my daughter’s birth, my wife and I took birthing classes. I learned that America’s medical system is lacking in empathy or understanding in this arena and, unlike what is portrayed in the movies, when a woman’s water breaks, it may take hours, or even days, before the baby is born. 

Also, as you may know, a newborn needs to be fed regularly — like, every two hours, or so — and it will scream and cry and let you know if you’re not punctual. And as you can probably imagine, all these feedings lead to frequent diaper changes, too. As much as I showed up to offer support, there were just certain things my wife had to put her body through in order to care for our daughter. Suffice it to say, this whole experience gave me clearer eyes regarding the ways in which childbirth and child-rearing are depicted in entertainment. 

Now that we’re up to speed, let me get back to Squid Game. Within something like 10 minutes of having her water break, Player 222 gave birth to a baby girl who didn’t let out that signature first scream upon taking her first few breaths. It cried, don’t get me wrong; I suppose it was the best type of cry a CGI baby could accomplish. Nevertheless, that was the first sign that I may be watching a show that knows nothing about this subject matter. 

It got worse from there. Aside from the fact that active trauma can cause a woman’s body to go into fight-or-flight mode, and make an active (and natural, for that matter) childbirth a more time-consuming and challenging process — my wife, for instance, was in labor for four days — I was suddenly watching characters reconcile the constant fear of being killed with the fact that they have new life on their hands. 

I get it. The baby is a symbol: Humanity’s beacon of hope amid the show’s greedy, classist themes. You’ve got to give the audience some light at the end of the tunnel. 

But, much like when The Walking Dead introduced baby Judith to the mix, I was immediately taken out of things. My investment in the series took a nose dive. Suddenly, it was clear to me that the baby would survive it all and, considering how crafty Dong-hyuk has shown himself to be with the show’s big story twists, I began to have a sneaking suspicion that the newborn would end up winning the game… somehow.

It brought me a weird mix of pleasure and disappointment to learn my prediction was right. But honestly, I no longer cared. As the season progressed, I watched as the newborn had no diaper changes, how Player 222 and her barely-day-old daughter slept peacefully all the way through the night, and how it was not fed on a regular schedule. 

I sat back and laughed at the sheer notion that Player 222 could get up and walk after giving birth, how it was acceptable for Gi-hun to strap the infant to his chest as he hustled through the show’s unbelievable version of jump rope. Shaken baby syndrome or not, that was a baffling choice. And, after Player 222 decided to end her life and throw herself off a ledge, I threw my hands up in disbelief that the show was doubling down on this story choice.

I get it, this is a fictional series. A social satire. A bloody bit of escapism that took the world by storm. Still, if you want to keep things grounded and believable, maybe do a bit of research before you turn a CGI baby into a convenient and misinformed story tool. A scapegoat, even. Sorta like I did with my own daughter earlier in this article. Just a thought. 

Now, David Fincher’s US spin-off is on the docket to keep this world alive. My advice? Please don’t put baby in the Squid Game. That’s all I ask.

Squid Game is now streaming in its entirety on Netflix.